Busting the Core Negative Image: Why CNI Work in RLT Is a Game Changer

Busting the Core Negative Image: Why CNI Work in RLT Is a Game Changer

In my integrative therapy practice—where I weave together IFS, somatic work, mindfulness, and good old-fashioned relational truth-telling—there’s one concept from Relational Life Therapy (RLT) that hits home again and again: the Core Negative Image, or CNI.

If you’ve done any RLT work, you’ve probably met your CNI already. And if you haven’t? Oh, it’s there. That internalized voice whispering (or sometimes yelling):🧠 “I’m too much.”💔 “I’m not enough.”😔 “I’ll always be alone.”

The CNI is like a pair of cracked glasses—you see your partner, yourself, and the world through its distorted lens. And then you act from it, which only reinforces it.Fun, right?

So what do we do about it?

We bust it.RLT gives us an actual roadmap for CNI-busting behavior—concrete, intentional ways of showing up differently in spite of that negative story.

And this is where integrative psychology comes in clutch.

Because working with CNI in a real and lasting way means drawing on everything we’ve got:

• From IFS, we ask: which part of you carries this belief? Who’s protecting it?

• From somatic work, we tune in: how does this story live in your body?

• From mindfulness, we pause and notice without shame.

• And from the relational lens, we ask: where did this story come from? And what might it look like to speak or act from something truer?

Why this matters (especially in relationships)

When our CNI is running the show, it doesn’t matter how kind or connected our partner is—we’ll twist their words to confirm our worst fear.“I’m not wanted.” “I’m not safe.” “I’m too needy.”And then, boom—we go into withdrawal or attack mode. (Yes, even therapists do this.)

But when we see the CNI for what it is—a relic from old wounds—we can choose something different. We can speak up, soften, stay. We can connect from a more whole place.

Bottom line?

CNI work isn’t about fixing what's broken. It's about reclaiming the parts of ourselves that got buried under pain, shame, and survival.When we bring those parts into the light—gently, consistently, and with support—everything starts to shift.

Not just in our heads. But in our hearts, our homes, and our most important relationships.